So unusual for me. Not that I'm always in a bad mood, it's just that a really good mood, a fantastic amazingly good mood is pretty rare for me. Today, for some reason I woke up in such a great mood! It may have something to do with the fact that I put all this moving stuff away and negotiated a new lease with my landlord. You might say it's given me a new lease on life, knowing I have a home for the next year and feeling good about actually living to see the next year.
Since my diagnosis, I've been on a daily dose of Paxil. It's taken some time, but I feel the effects in that I don't feel the need to cry every day like I once did. Back before I was diagnosed I spent an inordinate amount of my time feeling so blue that the only thing that helped was crying by myself for hours every night. Often I would sit alone in my house in the silence and cry for a variety of reasons. Since then I have read much about the symptoms one experiences during the transition from HIV positive to full blown AIDS. One telltale symptom is crushing depression. I remember it lasting a long time before my body finally gave up and succumbed to Pneumocystis and Thrush.
Perhaps my good mood today is the result of the medicine, my current good health or maybe it's just the great weather. Whatever the reason, it's nice when life feels good and the future seems reachable. Not much to chit-chat about today... just needed to share my sunny outlook while it lasts.
Hope your day is great!
Betsy
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